amodf
Zaphod

Lust in my heart . . .
ahh an urging to note in my log. i need to comment on poly-amor which is my life my passion, my birhtright as a human being. i love many. in physical fashions and emotional. i love many. i have a heart filled with passion, lust and yes love and i wish to share with many. I love above all else women. dark haired women above all else i qualify. one of the women i love has hurt me deeply, but i have reconciled that it is very selfish for me to be hurt by what has transpired, but the joy that has led to this hurt cannot be measured. my heart weighs heavy, but alas my eyes turn toward others, poly-amor add the rood words together and get back to me. but of late i have come to relize the richness of experience and the peace of mind that shedding monogamy has provided. my already marvelous relationship with my wife has been made more solid in trust and lack of that "oh my god we've been having sex with the same person for 8 years now is he/she gonna get bored and cheat on me?" tension is great.

Scars and disappointment
thank god for thc is my prologue to this folks. and the subject is anger. i have significant anger. you wanna know what really pisses me off? too bad i'm telling you anyway. what pisses me off is people. people just need to recognize that other people have the right to exist as they will. any group of people who point fingers or impinge upon other person's right to exist (yes i'm talking to you john paul, george w., osama, ariel, saddam, etc etc-all you intolerant FUCKS who can't keep their noses out of everybody elses SHIT!) ok here it is man if we could all get our little hangups straight over who's right (little tip-YOU'RE ALL WRONG-EVEN ME!!) then we could live and let live and concentrate on things that would make the world a better place. you know i like science fiction a lot (hang with me this ties in) and i decided there are 4 basic types of science fiction, 1.)events occurring in a world/universe outside the knowledge of our earth 2.) events ocurring in the earth's future in which people pretty much act the same as they do now 3.)events ocurring in the earth's future in which human kind has blossome with recurrent and resplendent levels of LOOK AT WHAT DUMB ASSES WE CAN BE!! (up to and including ending civilization-YAY!) and 4.) (which i think is my favorite, speaking to my love of star trek) a future of earth in which human kind in which we somehow universally finally act upon those principles which our marvelous multitudinous of modalities of modern organized religion give lip service but refuse to practice every saturday, sunday or whatever day they practice. a future where we get our shit together get rid of us and them and concentrate on what is good for us ALL US!

ahh healing
Ok the finger is much better now. was very upset @ gucci's got a chance to play cool game and got confronted with a difficult bleeding situation. i think it's a metaphor for my life presently, i have a task i want to succeed in and another area of mine leaks in and impinges upon. don't ask, i'm not sure i really know.

On pain

I feel presently and through past performance qualified to pontificate upon pain. In the decade plus since i have played hockey i have often wondered if i'd gone soft, become a pansy, as it seems sometimes my threshold and capcity for pain have drastically diminished. Today I have been shown that this is not so, it's simply a matter of body chemistry and degree, or scale as it were. I've come to note that small pains such as my wife punching me (only in jest and good natured fun i assure you) and twisting my knee or ankle climbing (or simply telling a story, gawd) my body makes me cope with them alone. However today, while perpetrating an ungodly mundane thing as washing dishes, i broke a glass and cut my right forefinger rather deeply, looking much like a cut from punching a guys helmet instead of his chin (hockey subreference) a cut and in long and snakelike, deep too (i can see flesh). A cut that would send most folk scrambling to the emergency room to get stitches, but whether i actually play the game now, i'm a hockey player, i suck it up. I am convinced that i am able to do this with the important aid of the pharmacist of the body, thank god for drugs, homegrown or external, makes little difference.

18 dammit i say 18!
Ok so at a suaree i attended in Frisco, one lovely beyond all others in presence laid down on me some draconian limit for my sexual escapades. 1/2 my age plus 6!! FUCK THAT! My wife says i can have sex with any woman over 18 so NYAH!

Gonads and strife

Ahhh crisis, life in flux, anger, resentment reaction, overreaction, pride, bitter recrimination and control.

That would best describe the most recent chaper of my great friend zaphod's life. the title: They were my own private thoughts shared among buds!! (subtitled must you take that away from me too?) the cast of characters: eh, let's not get into that really. perspective: the strongest bonds are forged in the hottest flames of the forge. my most recent drama is of a type which will be vaguely referenced here and if you want specifics and you know my number, call me i may discuss: drunken judgement laid down by a dear loved one with a problem. the judgement closed a circuit in my soul which could have remained closed for all times had it not been for circumstances and the truth of the matter (which became clear). suffice it to say that i nearly cast aside one of the most meaningful relationships of my life, and just the thought cut my soul to shreds. but all better now and the offender may indeed have learned to steer clear of the deadly combination of tequila shots and a cell phone.

oh by the way for those of you who have linked here from zaphod's page, i am the evil genius and i do plan on taking over the world, if you'd like to play a small part, i'm sure that can be arranged, (especially if you're cute female-bisexual certainly wouldn't hurt either) i still think dick cheney and barney are one in the same (i.e. the prince of darkness)

i cannot resist dark haired beauty, granted a blonde with personality and looks to match can easily worm their way into my heart and mind, but a dark haired wonder has immediate and rapt attention. just a personal preference.

the sad part about suffering with damon is that i never really figured out the whole nice guys finish last thing, there were so many rejections and thwarted attempts at love that sputtered and rose up as a result of being the nice guy. the backlog of girls who wanted a second chance was not huge (but the names involved were huge, at least to my memory)

anyway i digress. why is sex all i think about somedays? well to be precise i always think about multiple things, but sex is always top 3. it's like i walk through life with that vietnamese chick from full metal jacket in the back of my head singsonging "me so horny" or is it 2 live crew? damit I CAN'T TELL! would anyone like to share their experience when they read the closing shout on last log? holy frimpin' mahoney? i can't speak to it's meaning but i can't say it without belly laughing

Rock rock rockaway beach
another disaster in new york, i can't help but think of the ramones, rock rock rockaway beach. i'm writing lately and it kinda makes me dark and moody, but a gloomy lonny sometimes is a productive lonny. writing new things today and i don't feel right putting words into a woman's mouth-afraid i'm only writing what i wish a woman would say to me(in those circumstances mind you, i don't want to end up in most of the situations i write-i.e. the day of the dud would be a bitch) i hope i can be honest, am i falling into my axiom that i refer to in all such discussions the whole us and them issue, should i ignore that and think of us as diferent types of humans as opposed to different creatures, but oh what wonderful creatures women are, hello i love women, they love me it works out beautifully so. i must own up to a sometimes almost intolerably high level of anger sometimes, i really abhor violence and i have a raving dog of a sidekick waiting to assasinate and maim when i decide to take over the world (oops that was supposed to be a surprise) and the thought of killing to take over the world makes me feel oogy. I want to talk the world into talking me into taking over. oh sure if you insist. george bush (which one? both) makes my bowels loose, i need to run to the bathroom sometimes when i realize that the shrub is in office and OH MY FRIMPIN MAHONEY! but does THAT make me feel oogy. LP

Let's get a start then

Okay now this is my first entry here and it's likely to be very derivative of two souls whose words have preceded me here. I am the old crazy fuck in general connection with Damon and Logan. Now Logan I shall address first as to the issue of tragedy this year, i concur, my "papa" as we all called him we buried on august 31st (my wifes birthday which i forgot until sitting @ the breakfast table "oh shit") so grief is not a stranger to me, the man who along with my father most shaped my twisted but utilitarian ethic, from papa i got my tolerance, and i am rabidly tolerant (some would say to an excessive fascistic degree, hmmm, the contradiction that is my soul). he was my last surviving grandparent, and if the jewish faith is to be believed he will never again meet his wife of 35 years who died 2 years back, you see the mitzvah ratio is like 5 million to one in his favor there. http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?term=mitzvah
definition 2.

okay on to damon still wallowing in the separation anxiety from the dual familial and neo-familial umbilical cords of security and comfort for the vegas style gamble, but what a payoff when the right bets nurtured eh? some patience the first year away at school is almost invariably immeasurable, that's one reason why it's an almost half decade long experience, so you remember the cool later parts and forget the cold, scary, lonely, insecure first bits. shine on you crazy diamond, BUT PAY ATTENTION TO THE FUCKING SCHOOLWORK YA DORK! anyway this will evolve into a more personal portrait of me (but here ask yourself, do you really want to see this? hint-ask damon) , but for now this will have to do.

breathe on

Lonny J. Parton

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